One of the key characteristics I am striving for as a leader is service. I believe that, to be a great leader, one must serve others. Recently though I've been feeling a bit like a doormat.
I think there is an interesting tension between service and surrender. When I forgo my own wants and likes to accommodate another's wants and desires, I think that I am serving them. However there comes a point where I no longer am fulfilling my own needs.
Lately I think that's been preying on me more and more. I want to be a servant to others, but it is beginning to feel like I am surrendering who and what I am to them.
This came to a head recently when a peer I was working with was very tense and began to take it out on me. The right thing to do was probably to remain calm and recognize that her tension was the source of the abuse. Instead, I bit her head off, and reflected the very behaviour that I was receiving. This was about the least productive thing I could have done. I knew it at the time. I certainly know it now.
Now I need to figure out how to serve and stand my ground.